when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
