were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
