It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
