This is not my ceiling
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
