i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
