I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
