Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
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