GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
