So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
