Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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