Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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