I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
