Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
