So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Randomize
