You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
