I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
