Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
