I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize