why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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