sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
