When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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