Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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