No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
