He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
