Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You need a sexual gate keeper
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
