she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
