You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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