Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
