i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
