im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
