Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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