He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
