38 yer olds are good kisserssss
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
