What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
