i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
