oh god the rape fog is back!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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