I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
