Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
