You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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