Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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