He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
