She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
