thus making me awesome and them whores
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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