Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
