hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He shit in the fireplace
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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