The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
