well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
