Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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