You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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