I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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