i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
