i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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