She said her name was "party"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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