I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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