Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
